How to Handle Rude People

Rude People

Rudeness can be defined as having a lack of manners, being discourteous or showing disrespect. We’ve all had that moment when we’re startled by the rudeness of someone’s words or action. Or know that person that we avoid due to their rude behaviour. How do we deal with them? 

14 reasons why people are rude and 16 simple ways to handle rude people below.

man pointing finger being rude - How to handle rude people
“Always ignore hateful attitude and rude behaviour to eh people. They are powerless without your response”
Bushra Zarrat Rana

14 Reasons Why Rude People are Rude

Woman looking rude - Why Rude people are rude

People can be rude for a myriad of reasons. It can be behavioural trait in some people, a build up of tension or a one-off circumstantial incident. Some of the reasons why people may be rude below; 

  1. Lack of social skills
  2. Learned or inherited behaviour 
  3. Personal Problems
  4. Personality Disorders
  5. Self-esteem issues
  6. Stress
  7. Jealousy
  8. Insecurity
  9. Cultural differences
  10. Thinking they are being direct rather than rude 
  11. Inability to handle situations
  12. Low emotional intelligence
  13. Lack of consequences
  14. Not understanding limits
“The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people... The more peaceful your life will become”
Mandy Hale

16 Simple Ways t0 Handle Rude People

person standing with a rude person - Ways to handle rude people

It can be difficult to handle when someone is blatantly rude to us. We may get defensive, angry or even upset. Fortunately there are other ways to handle rude people, some ways below and more in the further exploration section;

  1. Don’t Take it Personally: They may have had a bad day or it may just be “the way they are.” Chances are their rudeness has nothing to do with you personally 
  2. Ignore It: They are powerless without a response. 
  3. Tell Them: Explain that you find their behaviour or actions rude. Explain that it is not acceptable and the way is had made you feel. They may not realise that it has caused hurt or offence.
  4. Don’t Let it Continue: Nip rude behaviour in the bud. If it continually happens, do something about it. Don’t stew on it and let it bring you down any further.
  5. Ask if you Can Help: If the person isn’t normally like that or appears to be struggling, ask them if there is anything you can do to help.
  6. Take Some Deep Breaths: Take 10 deep breaths and calm everything down before responding or becoming overcome by emotion. Try some breathing exercises here 
  7. Be Kind: The old saying, “Be kind to the unkind people for they need it the most” can sometimes be never truer. You don’t know what people are going through or their reasons for being rude. Don’t add to their burden, be kind.
  8. Check Yourself: Are you being over-sensitive or was it made as a joke? Chances are this is not the case as we know when someone is being rude to us however it is worth checking.
  9. Mediate: With someone who is consistently rude specifically to you, ask someone to step in and mediate. A third person can help understand the situation and bring a new perspective on both sides.
  10. Don’t Retaliate: Two wrongs never made a right and retaliating will only make you feel worse in the long run. Handle the situation with dignity.
  11. Stay Calm: It is their behaviour that is at fault not yours. See it for what it is and stay calm 
  12. Walk Away: Literally walking away can sometimes be the best course of action if there is no resolution likely. Being the bigger person and walking away can save pain and bad feeling in the long run.
  13. Understand That It Might Just Be The Way They Are: They may just have a blunt, rude or rash personality. 
  14. Set Boundaries: Set your own boundaries about what you will and will not take. Walk away when the line is overstepped.
  15. Watch Your Own Behaviour: If you find yourself being rude, apologise.
  16. Avoid Them: Really the last case scenario. If there is someone who is consistently rude and does not respond to feedback it may be best to just stay away with them. If you are unable to avoid them, for example at work, ask to be moved away from them and explain your reasons.

Further Exploration - Articles & Media

A conscious rethink logo

Article: Why Are Some People So Mean, Rude, And Disrespectful To Others?

Article from A Conscience Rethink looking at why people can be rude including "brain strain" and emotional Immaturity

Quora Logo

Forum: Why are some people rude?

Quora forum discussing why people are rude with suggestions including people preferring to behave that way and people not being able to achieve their dreams

Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People by Renee Evenson

Book: Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People

Renee Evenson's book providing some interpersonal skills and powerful phrases that we can use when dealing with difficult people.
***This is one of the few affiliate links on Peaceful Soul"

Quora Logo

Forum: How do I deal with rude people without being rude in return?

Quora forum with suggestions about to deal with rude people including maintaining your dignity and just smiling.

Harvard Business Review logo

Article: Why People Get Away with Being Rude at Work

Slightly different take from Harvard Business Review looking at why people get away with being rude at work and how rudeness can impact employees.

Psychology Today Logo

Article: 5 Polite Ways to Disarm Rude People

5 polite ways to handle rude people from Psychology Today including sizing up the grievances and leading by example

Article: The 25 Rudest Behaviors—Are You an Offender?

Paired Life article looking at 25 rude behaviours including interrupting, littering and not picking up after your dog.

Tedx logo - mental health and wellbeing websites

Video: How to Deal with Difficult People

Jay Johnson's TEDx talk discussing how to deal with difficult people by "elevating our understanding of behavior and acting through an internalized approach"

CNBC Logo

Article: Why rudeness is so toxic — and how to stop it

CNBC article discussing why rudeness is so toxic and how breaking the cycle of rudeness begins with kindness

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Your Take

Do you have any further ways to handle rude people? Your take in the discussion below.