Our Relationship

1. Talk, talk, talk – when we stop communicating we stop understanding each other
2. Listen to their thoughts, ideas and aspirations
3. Be Honest
4. Work at it – Relationships take work
5. Make your relationship a priority
6. Be Yourself – Don’t try to attract someone by being someone that you’re not, it will inevitably end in tears 
7. Ensure mutual respect
8. Have boundaries. You are not one person and dependency on your significant other is a not a good place to be. Be your own person and allow them to do the same
9. Ensure that you are happy – you cannot have a good relationship if you are not happy with yourself first
10. Sometimes it is not a case of right and wrong 
11. Always talk, don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. You in turn don’t know what they are thinking
12. Show them love and affection every day
13. Don’t try to change your partner – you can only change yourself
14. Help them when they need it
15. Understand your significant other. Know their beliefs, relationships, feeling and values. Understand them and what makes them tick
16. Don’t get angry or shout
17. Accept that there will be disappointing or hard times
18. Don’t let things stew… Although know when to bite your tongue and let things calm down
19. Don’t retaliate in the heat of the moment. Take some time out to take a breather. No one has ever been proud of what they’ve said at that point
20. Trust is critical. When it’s gone it’s gone
21. Don’t belittle or criticise them
22. Appreciate them
23. Be playful
24. Men and women have different needs and ways of thinking – understand and accept that
25. Be independent and responsible for your own happiness – when you rely on someone else to provide that for you you can become needy
26. Be their best friend
27. Confide in them
28. Trust them
29. Be a team
30. But give them space when they need it
31. Be the person that you would want to have as your partner
32. Have the courage to tell your partner if it’s not working – Do not continue out of feelings of pity or being scared of the consequences
33. Make time for each other
34. Do little things for each other
35. Allow for individuality to be strength to each other rather than a cause of arguments
36. Try not to have secrets (even if they are to try and protect your partner)
37. Respect their decisions and actions
38. Make sacrifices – Do what they want to do or give up your time them
39. Accept flaws – No-one is perfect and no one ever will be. Accept their flaws as part of the person you love
40. Stop obsessing about them and checking your phone every 5 minutes – let them be
41. Focus on the things that you love about them
42. Be reliable
43. Reminisce with them
44. When arguments occur – check that it is not coming from your own fears and insecurities
45. Keep negative thoughts in check
46. Be happy for them when things go right for them
47. Do exciting and new things with each other (some examples here)
48. Tell them what it is you love about them
49. Learn how to forgive – We all make mistakes from time to time
50. Tell them how you feel
51. Have fun together
52. Stay faithful
53. Understand their relationships – both family and friends
54. Don’t stonewall them
55. Don’t show contempt (or roll your eyes) at them
56. Understand your own negative traits and how they might be affecting your relationship
57. You know deep down when things are good. When they are not, trust your gut feelings
58. Do not continually dredge things up from the past when they have no relevance
59. Discuss what you both want out of life
60. Create goals together, have things to work towards together. Dream about your future and life together and plan it
61. Assume they have good intentions
62. Be playful
63. Sex is important
64. Be romantic. Keep things exciting
65. If things are really bad but you want to save the relationship consider seeing a therapist or counsellor. There are many trained experts who will be able to help

When it doesn’t work?