Past Experiences - How They Shape Us

Past experiences have an impact on how we view life and our general outlook. Learn how we can view our past and change our patterns to make our future brighter.

Woman with clocks - what are past experiences?

What are Past Experiences?

Past experiences are the things that have made up our life up until this point. They are positive and negative events. They are both one-offs and the things we do day in day out that become ingrained us. They are of vital importance to our happiness and wellbeing. We need to understand them and how they impact what we do now, in the present, in order to live a happy and fulfilled life. 

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards"
Søren Kierkegaard

How Past Experiences Shape The Person We Are

Girl in front of clocks

Our past shapes the person that we are today for the good and the not so good. How we view our past experiences both consciously and sub-consciously shape how we approach life. 

They can have a profound impact on many areas of our life including..

  • Our personality – our past becomes ingrained us
  • Humans are a habitual species – what we do day in and day out becomes like an automatic program, as do our emotional responses to it
  • This then affects how we approach situations & how well (or not) we think we can handle situations 
  • Hormones and chemicals are released in our bodies when we go through certain (stressful or positive) events meaning if our body has experienced them before then it is on high alert to repeat the same responses
  • Our mind and body find the easiest. most comfortable pattern to follow, e.g. the pattern related to past experiences
  • It is then a cycle of pre-empting how we are going to react, reacting like it and re-living the same self-fulfilling prophecy
  • The majority of people will bring how they feel about themselves from the past and tell themselves negative stories relating to the upcoming future
  • Constantly anticipating negative scenarios means that our body is always on high alert and we always feel under stress / pressure
  • Past relationships and experiences with family, friends and loved ones have a huge bearing on the person that we are today. If we have always been treated in a certain way, we end up becoming that person
  • Routine behaviours and experiences become like a program that we follow day in, day out. People stop using their mind and become trapped in continual cycles of process and emotion.
  • Break the cycle
“Turn Your Wounds Into Wisdom"
Oprah Winfrey

Dealing with Past Experiences

Bridge to green pastures

The past is the past and cannot be changed however it can be very hard to let go. There are many ways to reframe and control our views of negative experiences.

  • Do not live on auto pilot. Your mind is conditioned to respond automatically to many of the scenarios you do day in day out. It is easy to just coast through life without really living. Break these cycles – expand your mind and life through meditation (click here) and new experiences (click here)
  • Do not allow negative past experiences to shape the person that you are
  • See bad experiences as events that have happened to you rather than being a part of you
  • Concentrate on the good and positive experiences that you have brought to yourself and others
  • Remember the good times and your achievements – use them as a source of inspiration for the future
  • Recognise that your past experiences can be put to good use in helping others. If you’ve been in that person’s shoes you may well have invaluable advice to them
  • Do not hold grudges with people – this brings about repeated bad feeling and negativity in our lives. If you cannot forgive, let go of the emotion instead
  • See past experiences as learning experiences – they allow us to better ourselves and live fuller lives in the future
  • Accept what has happened in your past and move on
  • Be in control of your thoughts
  • Don’t hold on to small irrelevant things – in fact, don’t think about them at all. There are much bigger and better things to focus on in life.
  • We can all write a new story that looks nothing like our past. 
 

Facing Our Hang-Ups

Some things can become ingrained in us in life. Through experience we may think, “I’m not able to do this” or “I don’t do that as it makes me too nervous.” It is only by confronting these things that we can live a full and satisfied life. Take a look at yourself, what are your hang ups? Face them and conquer them.
 

Significant Trauma

Significant negative past experiences may not always be undone through reading and knowledge. Talking to a professional (a doctor or therapist) may be the best course of action if you are holding significant past trauma. However do take a course of action to release these emotions to ensure that they do not hang over you for the rest of your life.
“Be thankful for everything that happens in your life; it’s all an experience.” "
Roy T Bennett

Further Exploration - Articles & Media

Science Daily Logo

Article: Past experiences shape what we see more than what we are looking at now

An interesting article from Science Daily looking at more of the physical rather than emotional aspect of the effect of past experiences

Peaceful Soul - Theconversation

Article: Past Experiences & Helping Others

A short piece by Adam Gerace from theconversation.com provides interesting information on how our past experiences shape us and how we can understand them better

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself

Book: Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How To Lose Your Mind And Create A New One

This life changing book by Dr Joe Dispenza discusses how we become our past experiences and function on auto pilot, re-living the same events for 95% our lives. Learn how to break the habits here. ***This is one of the very few affiliate links on Peaceful Soul***

Pyschcentral Logo

Article: Learning to Let Go of Past Hurt

Article: This 5 minute read written by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. from Pyschcentral.com provides 5 ways to logical ways to move on from past hurt

Peaceful Soul - Impact Theory

Video: Learn How To Control Your Mind

A profound interview from Impact Theory with Joe Dispenza.who talks about how our past experiences become so ingrained that we are effectively always living in the past.

Peaceful Soul - Eggspierence

Article: Past Experiences Impacting Today

This article at Eggspierence.com discusses how past experiences shape the person who we are today

Peaceful Soul - Past Experiences

Article: How our past experiences shape our behavior and personality

Short article from Psyhmechanics.com looking out how the experience during our early year shapes who we are today

Psychology Today Logo

Article: Your View of the Future Is Shaped by the Past

An article by Art Markman PhD discussing how our memories of the past shape how we feel our future will unfold

Medium Logo

Article: Your past experiences are blinding you

An article from medium.com looking at how our past experiences affect how we are today

Research Gate logo

Research: Does past experience affect what we see or what we do?

Multiple commentary and opinion on Research gate around how our experiences affect our future thoughts and actions

Huffpost logo

Quotes: 20 Quotes For Letting Go Of The Past And Moving On With Your Life

Here are 20 inspirational quotes from Huff Post to help you get over those negative past experiences.

Quora Logo

Opinion: How do our memories and experiences shape who we are?

Some interesting debate on Quora around how our memories and experience shape us

Article: Dwelling On The Past: The Importance Of Self Reflection

An article looking at how self reflection on our experiences and learnings can help us make sense of and take meaning from the past.

Psychology Today Logo

Article: Does Past Experience Increase Empathy?

Another article from Psychology today looking at self-reflection from our own experiences and how we then relate to others given that experience

Youtube Logo

Video: Learning from experience: How our brains remember the past and shape our future

A talk from Columbia University explaining how different parts of the brain learn from experience, how memories are built and ultimately how we make decisions

Where to Go Next On Peaceful Soul

Persons Thinking Face - How our thoughts make us who we are

Thoughts

How we think shapes our entire universe. Find information on how our thoughts shape us and how we control them here

Lady stood on rock - New Experiences

New Experiences

New experiences change our perception of life and help shape the person we want to become. How they help and 101 new experiences here

Books & A Heart - Never Stop Learning

Learning

Learning keeps our mind working and keeps us alive. How learning helps us and 50 learning opportunities here

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Your Take

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