Letting Go of Unrequited Love

Fortunately there are a number of ways to combat the feelings of unrequited love. From changing your mindset to looking after yourself, there are a number of actions that you can take. Also see further exploration below for further external articles and media for further help

Communication

Change Your Mindset

1. Accept that it is happening. Accept the situation and start focussing on “getting better”
2. You were a fully functioning human being without these feelings and emotions before you met them, you will be again
3. Ask yourself why your happiness depends on being with this person
4. There are plenty more fish in the sea – probably won’t help initially but you have found the type of person you like, excellent! Look at the qualities that you saw in them and you can now be alert to finding someone with similar traits, characteristics or even looks
5. Accept and embrace the feelings – you feel how you feel. Love is a powerful emotion. Even if not returned it is a powerful feeling that when channelled correctly can hugely enhance life. Channel the love and energy into hobbies, family, friends, work and yourself
6. You have felt love! If you can feel like that strongly about someone, you will be able to do so with an other and when the feelings are reciprocated it will be amazing
7. Feelings change and so do people (you will eventually)
8. You are not alone, unrequited love happens to many people. Studies have shown that over 95% of people have felt unrequited love is some shape or form. This huge majority will include highly successful, attractive and intelligent people. You are in good company. 
9. Understand that your mind will be conditioned on how you respond to this person. When you think of them it will release certain chemicals in your brain and body and make you respond the way you do. Understand these patterns and it will help you to understand your emotions
10. Everything in life can be learnt from. Treat it as a learning experience and gather any positives that you can take forward from it
11. Realise that they most likely feel awful too (if they know about the situation) 
12. There are ups and downs in life. Understand that this is a low and there will be many more highs ahead 
13. Look at why you wanted to be in the relationship in the first place. If it was due to loneliness, find other ways to plug that gap for now. Analyse why and look at how to help those areas in your life
14. Understand that nothing is ever perfect, no relationship or person. Its a tough learning however it is the way of life and will help you on the road to recovery
15. If it’s a recurring problem and you constantly feel unrequited love, look at the people you are choosing as the objects of your affection. Are they the right person for you? Would you actually be better suited a different type of person?
16. It is likely that a lot of the love you feel is felt through rose tinted glasses. Don’t try to put the person down however see them for who they are, remember the not so good as well as the good times. They are a person and they will most likely have at least as many flaws as the next person 
17. Understand that you can’t make somebody love you 
18. You have learnt to handle rejection, a valuable tool that you can take forward and will help in many situations life

Look After You

1. Allow yourself time to deal with and get over your feelings. There will likely be many emotions involved including anger, hurt, sadness and grief. Understand that you will feel sad and allow yourself to do so
2. Treat yourself. You’re going through a hard time mentally, allow yourself a bit of comfort
3. Concentrate on you. Use the feelings to inspire you to change your life. Get fit and healthy. Get ready for when you do meet the right person
4. Keep on learning and bettering yourself. This will help keep your mind on other things in the short term and set you up for a successful future in the long term
5. Don’t angry or argue with the person. There is no point and you will only regret it later down the line. Let it go.
6. Respect yourself. Don’t cry, beg or be needy with the person. Again, you’ll regret it the long run. Try to think about looking back on it in a few years, how would you like that story to end if you can’t be with them?
7. Try not to wallow in self-pity and self-defeating actions. These could include listening to romantic songs, watching romantic movies or looking at pictures of the object of your desires. Avoid these things for now and avoid the associated emotion
8. Think about yourself, your life and all of the amazing things that you have done. Surround yourself with family and friends and those who make you feel good about yourself
9. Confide in someone you trust. A problem shared is a problem halved. They may be able to provide you with good advice if they know about your relationship with the person. At the least they will be able to offer their ear and support 
10. If needed, get some professional help. The feelings of unrequited can affect us both mentally and physically. See a counsellor or therapist if the emotion is too strong to deal with

Things To Do

1. It may be important to have space between yourself and the person. Seeing or talking them to may stir up the emotions. Only you can judge whether you are able to see the person or not however don’t torture yourself and keep your distance if needed
2. Go out. Socialise. See friends. Distractions and distance can work wonders to put things into perspective
3. When you’re ready to do so, think about getting into the dating scene. There are plenty of others out there who would deserve your affections