The Wellbeing 5
John Kenny
The Relationship Guy
The Relationship Wellbeing 5
5 Simple Questions to help with relationship wellbeing with answers from Experts, Thought Leaders, Campaigners & Advocates
John Kenny
John “The Relationship Guy” Kenny is a highly experienced relationship coach, counsellor, author and documentary maker. He is the founder of Interpersonal Relationship Coaching (IRC). He is the author of the P.E.O.P.L.E programme book detailing how our sub-conscious mind and patterns affects our relationships.
John has produced the documentary “Forget-Me-Not – The Child You Left Behind” about how we leave parts of ourselves in childhood in order to fit in. He has also been an international athlete. Find out more about John here
The Relationship Wellbeing 5 with John Kenny
1. What is your favourite quote, anecdote, proverb or experience that helps with relationship wellbeing?
John: My favourite quote is a bit controversial as seems rude when you first hear it –‘Just because I understand, it doesn’t mean I care’ – Homer Simpson. We hear people say that you just don’t understand, but in reality it is that people just find it hard to place the amount of importance on our things as we would like them to. This can leave you in a bad space as you feel misunderstood. If we know that people see things in different ways or that they have their own important things to consider then we can manage relationships better.
This ties into my quote – ‘nothing is personal’. People do things based on their own wants and needs and therefore what they do isn’t personal. They are aiming to get their needs met. Not taking things personally also helps to keep you in a positive space emotionally.
2. What is your top piece of advice for relationship wellbeing?
John: To know yourself and what you want from a relationship. Understanding who you are, how you see relationships and the needs you want to meet within them will determine the kind of relationships that you choose. For a healthy relationship you need to have a positive relational pattern.
3. What is the one change in the world that you would like to see? (in your area of wellbeing or in the world in general or both)
John: For people to look at themselves and define what they want in relationships rather than being driven by what they need. To be able to step out of the ‘ego’ of our past will make relationships on the whole much healthier and happier. Saving the future generations from carrying maladaptive needs forwards themselves.
4. Which resources (books / websites / videos etc) for relationship wellbeing would you recommend?
John: Obviously, there is a really good one to help people understand their relational patterns – The P.E.O.P.L.E. Programme by John Kenny
The 5 Love Languages – Gary Chapman – gives a good understanding of how people like to be shown and give love and how this can cause problems if it is not understood.
5. What’s the one thing that always makes you smile?
John: This may sound a little cliche, but when my clients make the links and start to feel differently (more positive) in themselves, that makes me smile on the inside.
Bonus Question! Is there anything else pertinent you would like to add to the conversation?
John: To have healthy relationships on the outside, you need to have a healthy relationship with the person on the inside.
Further Exploration - John Kenny
Website: John Kenny Coaching
John's website including information about him, his coaching services, book "The P.E.O.P.L.E programme", his documentary "Forget Me Not - A Child Left Behind" and articles providing relationship tips
Documentary: Forget Me Not - A Child Left Behind"
The official trailer of John's documentary about how we leave parts of our childhood behind in order to fit in. The film explores why and how we can reconnect to our true self.
Article: The Forming of Personality
Article by John in The Maverick Paradox Magazine looking at how personality is formed and the impact our childhood has on our personality
Podcast: Motivational Mentors
John's guest spot on "The Motivational Mentors" Podcast discussing improving the relationship you have with yourself through your beliefs
Talk Show: DMD Talk Show on Sky
John on the DMD Talk Show on Sky discussing toxic & unhealthy relationships including why people have them and why they stay in them
Interview: Coach Magazine
Interview with John in Coach Magazine looking at how to recognise toxic situations. Free subscription required to read.
