How Positive Self Talk Will Change Your Life

Practicing positive self-talk starts with analysing our current conversations and the language we use with ourselves. Once we understand our current situation, we can then start to change any of the negative self-talk we use. 

1. Examine your current self-talk: How do you currently talk to yourself? Spend a day making a note on how you talk to yourself; both positively and negatively. Look at the situations that cause you talk to yourself in the different ways. Examine the words and the phrases you use and why. Understanding the current situation, helps to set the ball rolling to rectifying any negativity
2. Make a Journal: Per above, write down your self-talk so you can see it in black and white. We can see the extremities and often the sillyness of our self-talk when it’s written down in front of us
3. Don’t Resist It: Repeatedly telling yourself not to do something is counter-productive and will mean it is all you can think about. Allow your thoughts to flow, recognise the bad and the good. Learn from and change the thoughts rather than resist them
4. Start The Change: Consciously tell and promise yourself that you will be more positive in your self-talk and start to follow the suggestions below  
5. Rehearse: Having identified the situations where you talk to yourself negatively, think about how you could talk to yourself more positively in these situations. Rehearse the situation and giving yourself positive reassurance rather than negatively punishing yourself 
6. Practice Gratitude: Look at all of the good and positives you have in life. Make a list of them. Be happy and grateful for them and use them as a positive force in your self-talk
7. Practice Positive Affirmations: They really work. Identify the traits you love about yourself, the skills you have, the people you love. All the good things about yourself and life. Stand in front of a mirror and repeat them out loud. Even leave small notes and post-its in places where you will see them as a reminder.
8. Treat Yourself As You Would a Friend: Be supportive, encouraging and kind to yourself. Think about what you would say to your best friend in any given situation and give yourself the same advice and pep-talk in your mind
9. Tell Yourself How You Feel: Sound crazy?! If you repeat to yourself “I am feeling confident” or “I am happy” the mind and body will create the associated reaction. Tell yourself how you feel and mean it. Give it a go. 
10. Distance Yourself From Negative People: You know the people who are always down and negative? Try to stay away from them. Their attitude will rub off on you and bring you, your thoughts and your self-talk down. 
11. Realise You Are Human: And we all make mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up in your mind. No one is perfect
12. Don’t Be Afraid of Failure: We have to fail in order to learn and get good at things. Don’t be afraid of it. Embrace it.
13. A little Self Criticism Can be a Good Thing: We sometimes need to keep ourselves in line. Just give yourself a talking to if needed and then forget about it. Don’t keep on at yourself. Let it go 
14. Get Things Into Perspective:  Is it really necessary to talk negatively to yourself in the situation? Are things really bad enough to put yourself down? Most likely it’s not the end of the world and you can tell yourself to put it down to experience and life’s rich tapestry
15. Use Positive language: “I could” or “I’ll try” generally means that it’s not going to happen. Start using positive language in your self-talk and tell yourself that, “I can” or “I will”. Changing this language in your mind will drive you on to achieve
16. Be Positive With Others: Use positive words and phrases when speaking with others. This will naturally make you and your self-talk more positive
17. Be Good to Others: Being good to others builds our feeling of self-worth and happiness. This in turn will build your level of positive self-talk. See Peaceful Soul guide to helping others here
18. Don’t Compare: As Theodore Roosevelt said, “comparison is the thief of all joy.” There is no point comparing, some people will be better at things, some worse. Comparison generally brings negativity. Concentrate on yourself instead
19. They Are Only Stories: The things we tell ourselves in our mind are only stories. Stories and emotions about things that have happened and may happen in the future. Recognise that we can shape these stories anyway we want and tell yourself a better, more positive story
20. Think Things Through: Look at your self-talk and examine why you are telling yourself the things that you are. Is there an underlying issue that needs to be sorted? Do you feel a certain way about a particular situation? Identify and take action to rectify it
21. Look After Yourself Physically: Being in good physical shape naturally makes us feel good about ourselves and fills the mind with positive thoughts & self-talk 
22. Talk to Yourself & Address Yourself By Your Name: May sound a little strange however addressing yourself by your name will bring your mind into conscious and rational thought.
23. Use Mindfulness & Meditation: They are a natural way to clear the mind of any negativity or unneeded thoughts. Try Peaceful Soul guide to meditation here 
24. See Yourself How You Want To Be: We can be whoever we want to be. Identify the person you want to be and visualise them. Talk to yourself as that person. Give yourself the same positive, self-confident talk that person would give themself 
25. Avoid Media: Media is there to sell stories and so is very often negative. Avoid it to avoid bringing yourself and your self-talk down
26. Get Help: If the negative self-talk is getting too much, see a trained therapist or counsellor who can help you work through what is causing it and put in place a plan to help you cope