How to Build Confidence in Children

Confidence can get us far in life so building it in children early can give them the best possible start. Why children may lack confidence and 50 ways to build it below.

Childhood Confidence

Why Children May Lack Confidence

50 Ways To Build Confidence in Children

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Childhood Confidence

A confident child will naturally have more experiences in life and experience more positive emotion such as happiness and success than an a child lacking confidence. Confidence building begins at home and luckily it is not as daunting as it sounds. Read on for why children lack it and 50 ways to build it.

“The way you speak to your children is the single greatest factor in shaping their personality and self-confidence"

Brian Tracy

15 Reasons Why Children May Lack Confidence

Children, like all humans, are complex. There maybe many reasons why they lack confidence, the majority start at home however other external factors may also play a part. These include;

Lack of encouragement
Inherent learned behaviour from role models
Repeated and ongoing criticism
Overprotection from a parent
Allowing them to escape responsibility
Comparing to other children
Not being allowed to test their skills and abilities
Over-expectant parents
Not being left to problem solve on their own
Lack of self-worth
Not allowing them to make mistakes
Negative self-image
Allowing a victim mentality
Negative peer group
Lack of physical and mental wellbeing

“The greatest thing you can give a child is confidence"

Gail Porter

50 Ways to Build Confidence In Children

Building confidence in children isn’t rocket science. Give them the love and attention they deserve and help them out along the journey. 50 simple ways to help below;

Ensure you offer unconditional love
Let them be them self – don’t try to change them
Don’t criticise them
Appreciate the effort, not the result
Let them figure out problems
Help them to experience new experiences and a wide range of activities
Spend time with them
Pay attention to them
Provide encouragement
Let them make decisions
Don’t compare them to others
Let them overhear you talking positively about them
Pass on your skills and knowledge
Work on yourself – when you are confident, it will pass on to your children. (Peaceful Soul guide to confidence here)
Give them a puzzle or challenge to solve
Try not to let them know if you’re worried or anxious about them
Ask for their advice – Get them thinking
Accept that they will have genuine fears and insecurities
Don’t make excuses for them
Encourage them to have empathy and understand others feelings
Try to keep them in the real world – not constantly in front of screens
Don’t give them special treatment (well, not all the time)
Take an interest in what they do
Explain and help them to use positive self-talk (Peaceful Soul guide here)
Encourage them to help others (Peaceful Soul guide here)
Use role play to practice situations they might not be comfortable with
Help them set goals and things to work towards
Praise courage and bravery when trying something new
Compliment them for things they should be complimented for – not just all the time
Let them act their age
Encourage them to practice things to build up their competence
Help them to view mistakes as learnings
Create a wall of fame to showcase their achievements
Don’t always tell them what to do – let them work it out for themselves
Let them know you are proud of them
Don’t label them
Explain that children are different and let them know their unique qualities
Encourage them to talk to adults (that you know and when you are with them)
Don’t push them into things that they really don’t want to do
Hang their pictures and drawing around the house
Encourage them to express their feelings
Let them take appropriate risks
Teach them breathing and relaxation techniques (Try Here)
Allow them to make mistakes (and learn from them)
Don’t dismiss their feelings
Criticise their behaviour, not them
Know their limits
Let them carry out small jobs – give them a sense of responsibility
Listen to them
If you are really worried about your child’s lack of confidence think about getting professional help from a counsellor or therapist