How to Be More Confident

Confidence is a state of mind but one that can help us achieve our goals and dreams in life. Why we lack it and 36 ways to be more confident below

What is Confidence?

7 Reasons for Lacking Confidence

Further Exploration – Articles & Media

What is Confidence

Confidence can be defined as having faith in yourself and your abilities. It is the feeling that you can succeed or even excel in certain situations or tasks. When we have confidence we feel like we can achieve anything.

Read on for 7 reasons that can lead to us lacking confidence and 36 ways to be more confident

“Confidence is that feeling by which the mind embarks in great and honorable courses with a sure hope and trust in itself.”

Cicero

7 Reasons For Lacking Confidence

There are many reasons why we may lack confidence. Some stem from those around us and some from our own experiences. These include;

1. Our Parents

We learn a lot from our parents. Whether they weren’t there when we needed them or didn’t praise or encourage us enough, parental influence can have a big impact on our confidence.

2. Past Experiences

Our past experiences can have a huge bearing on our future expectation. See Peaceful Soul’s guide to Past Experience’s and how to deal with them here

3. Lack of Practice

We can naturally lack confidence when we aren’t proficient in something or are attempting something new. The sense of trepidation and unknown in a new task or challenge is something people react to in different ways

4. Comparing

Our confidence can be knocked when we look at others and compare our personality traits and abilities

5. Negative Self Image

What we believe about ourself has a huge impact on our confidence, especially if our mindset is along the lines of, “I could never do that” or “I’m not good enough to do that”

6. Negative Self Talk

Linked to negative self image, the way we talk to ourselves has a huge bearing on our life. Constantly putting ourself down, blaming ourself or just general negative self talk will have an impact to how confident we are

7. Negative Friends, Family & Colleagues

The people we surround ourselves have a big impact on our self-confidence and beliefs. If we are surrounded by negative people then their thoughts and behaviours will also bring us down

“When you have confidence, you can do anything.”

Sloane Stephens

36 Ways To Be More Confident

Confidence is a trick of the mind and a behaviour that can be learnt. 36 ways to be more confident below

1. Act Confidently

Even if you don’t feel particularly confident, acting in a confident manner will push your mind to accept your behaviour and start making you feel more confident.

2. Mentally Rehearse

Our minds do not know the difference between the imagination and reality. Take some time, close your eyes and imagine yourself being confident in any given situation or just in life in general. How does it feel? What does the situation or life look like? Get a really good feel for it. The more you mentally rehearse that feeling the more you will become it.

3. Embrace Uncertainty

Uncertain situations can lead to a lack of confidence. Life is full of uncertain and the only constant in life is change. Learn to embrace these situations as exciting challenges. Look at them as something to look forward to, something to learn and grow from.

4. Practice Positive Self-Talk

Be kind and positive in your self chatter. Do you beat yourself up or put yourself down in your own head? If so, stop it. Note the times when you are talking negatively to yourself and consciously change those statements to supportive, encouraging and helpful statements. Instead of “You idiot, why did you do that?!” try “It’s fine, it’s not the end of the world, I’m sure I’ll do better next time.” Give yourself a boost and treat yourself as you would treat a friend. Peaceful Soul guide to positive self talk here

5. Be Realistic

Understand that no one is perfect. At anything. You do not need to be perfect. If you have done your best (or even near your best) that is enough.

6. Keep Yourself Healthy

Eating well and exercising provide a natural boost to our confidence. Exercise gets the endorphins going, making us feel naturally great and eating well keeps our body supplied with the nutrients needed for good mental and physical wellbeing. Plus if we look and feel good, it will naturally give us a boost.

7. Practice

Similar to mentally rehearsing but actually doing it. If there is one situation that you lack confidence in go out there and practice it. And then practice some more. Start small and build up. Don’t just aim to get good at it, aim to be the best at it

8. Don’t Compare

Comparing with anyone is unjust. There are many different types of people in life who are talented in what they say or do. They will have had different opportunities, a different upbringing or different experiences. Some people are naturally better than others at certain things and others are people who have a lot more practice at something. Be your own person and don’t worry about others.

9. Positive People

Surrounding yourself with positive people can help boost confidence as the positive vibes given off by these types of people will also generally rub off on us.

10. Help Others

Helping others can be a great way to not only give back to society but help build confidence and self esteem. When we help others, this gives us a better feeling of self worth and builds up a more positive mental picture of ourself. Peaceful Soul guide to helping others here

11. Learning & Knowledge

Always learn. When we build our knowledge base through learning we also naturally become more confident. Peaceful Soul guide to learning here

12. Focus On The Positives & Achievements

Think about all of the positivity you bring to people in life, all of the achievements you have made, all of the people you love and who love you. You should have a lot of self worth and in turn, a lot of confidence.

13. Dress Confidently

man dressing smartly to have more confidence

Sometimes our outward appearance can drastically boost our confidence. Looking smart or even just dressing in our favourite clothes can give us that little boost and help us on our way

14. Take Care of Your Appearance

Similar to dressing confidently, when we feel we are looking at our best, this can make us feel great and in turn increase our confidence.

15. Wear Your Best Scent

Put on your best perfume / aftershave, if you smell and look great, you’ll be ready to face the day with confidence

16. Stop Thinking

When we are confident we don’t need to think about things and continually go over them, we just do it. Stop with the recurring negative and questioning thoughts. Try mindfulness or meditation to calm the mind

17. Live By Your Values & Principles

Write them down, what makes you tick and how you live your life. Knowing our values and principles allows us to be true to ourselves and helps us to make decisions and take action in even the trickiest of situations

18. Focus on Action and Solutions

Rather than dwelling on things, get active and put an action in place to tackle any problems that you may have built up. This will help you crush those issues and build your confidence along the way

19. Love Yourself

Loving ourself provides us with the ultimate peace and happiness and in turn confidence. See 70 ways to love yourself here on Peaceful Soul

20. Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

It’s very easy to get caught up in life and take everything little thing seriously. When we let go and loosen up a bit, we can understand that there are many things that don’t actually matter all that much

21. Don’t Care What Other People Think

People are too busy caught up in their own lives to care much about yours. Stop letting what other people think worry you and knock your confidence. Does it really matter what they think anyway?

22. Don’t Try to be Perfect

No one is perfect and no one ever will be. Striving for perfection will ultimately knock your confidence as it is impossible to obtain

23. Don’t Worry About Failing

Similarly don’t worry about failing. Worrying about what could happen can bring us down and affect our confidence. People need to fail in order to succeed. And anyway what’s the worst thing that could possible happen?

24. Talk to People

If you’re the type who shies away with interaction with people you don’t (and even do) know, take the plunge and start talking to people. This is a great confidence booster and you may learn a thing or two or meet some new friends along the way

25. Change The Routine

When we get stuck in the same old routine, the same things happen day in day out. Break this cycle and starting changing things up a bit. Try some new experiences (try Peaceful Soul’s guide here) to help build confidence

26. Take Criticism on the Chin

Life can’t be all roses and rainbows. Sometimes criticism is needed and helps us become a better person. Learn to accept criticism as a tool to help us (and ignore any unwarranted negative criticism).

27. Accept Compliments (& Take Them Onboard)

Take the positives as well as the negatives. When someone pays you a compliment, graciously thank them and take it onboard. They have complimented you because they think you deserve it. Good work.

28. Ask Someone Out

Asking someone out takes confidence. Push yourself to ask out that person that you fancy. It will build your confidence and chances are they might even say yes..

29. Say No When Needed

Being a yes man (or woman!) often means we are afraid of confrontation and end up taking on more than we should. Learn to say no when needed. It is ok to say no.

30. Stand Up For Yourself

Don’t let people walk all over you. Learn to stand up for yourself and say what is on your mind. Start small if needed but having the power to speak our mind and stand up for our beliefs is a true sign of great confidence

31. Stand Up Straight

Our posture and body language affect both us and the way people perceive us. Stand tall with your head straight looking forward. This type of “power pose” automatically provides us with a boost

32. Look People in the Eye

Looking someone in the eye naturally builds both confidence and respect for yourself and the person you are speaking with.

33. Don’t Apologise For Things You Haven’t Done

Repeatedly apologising or apologising for things we haven’t done makes us feel that we have actually done wrong and bring us down. Don’t apologise unless you actually need to

34. Know Your Strengths & Use Them

We all have our strengths & weaknesses in life. Know what your strengths are, write them down and integrate them in to the things you do everyday

35. Know Your Weaknesses & Work on Them

Similarly understand your weaknesses (we all have them). Write them down and write a plan of action to start improving in those areas. Eliminating weaknesses is a sure fire way to have more confidence