Past Experiences - How They Shape Us

Past experiences have an impact on how we view life and our general outlook. Learn how we can view our past and change our patterns to make our future brighter.

What are Past Experiences?

How can we harness the good and release the negative?

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What are Past Experiences?

Past experiences are the things that have made up our life up until this point. They are positive and negative events. They are both one-offs and the things we do day in day out that become ingrained us. They are of vital importance to our happiness and wellbeing. We need to understand them and how they impact what we do now, in the present, in order to live a happy and fulfilled life.

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards"

Søren Kierkegaard

How Past Experiences Shape The Person We Are

Our past shapes the person that we are today for the good and the not so good. How we view our past experiences both consciously and sub-consciously shape how we approach life.

They can have a profound impact on many areas of our life including..

Our personality – our past becomes ingrained us
Humans are a habitual species – what we do day in and day out becomes like an automatic program, as do our emotional responses to it
This then affects how we approach situations & how well (or not) we think we can handle situations
Hormones and chemicals are released in our bodies when we go through certain (stressful or positive) events meaning if our body has experienced them before then it is on high alert to repeat the same responses
Our mind and body find the easiest. most comfortable pattern to follow, e.g. the pattern related to past experiences
It is then a cycle of pre-empting how we are going to react, reacting like it and re-living the same self-fulfilling prophecy
The majority of people will bring how they feel about themselves from the past and tell themselves negative stories relating to the upcoming future
Constantly anticipating negative scenarios means that our body is always on high alert and we always feel under stress / pressure
Past relationships and experiences with family, friends and loved ones have a huge bearing on the person that we are today. If we have always been treated in a certain way, we end up becoming that person
Routine behaviours and experiences become like a program that we follow day in, day out. People stop using their mind and become trapped in continual cycles of process and emotion.
Break the cycle

“Turn Your Wounds Into Wisdom"

Oprah Winfrey

Dealing with Past Experiences

The past is the past and cannot be changed however it can be very hard to let go. There are many ways to reframe and control our views of negative experiences.

Do not live on auto pilot. Your mind is conditioned to respond automatically to many of the scenarios you do day in day out. It is easy to just coast through life without really living. Break these cycles – expand your mind and life through meditation (click here) and new experiences (click here)
Do not allow negative past experiences to shape the person that you are
See bad experiences as events that have happened to you rather than being a part of you
Concentrate on the good and positive experiences that you have brought to yourself and others
Remember the good times and your achievements – use them as a source of inspiration for the future
Recognise that your past experiences can be put to good use in helping others. If you’ve been in that person’s shoes you may well have invaluable advice to them
Do not hold grudges with people – this brings about repeated bad feeling and negativity in our lives. If you cannot forgive, let go of the emotion instead
See past experiences as learning experiences – they allow us to better ourselves and live fuller lives in the future
Accept what has happened in your past and move on
Be in control of your thoughts
Don’t hold on to small irrelevant things – in fact, don’t think about them at all. There are much bigger and better things to focus on in life.
We can all write a new story that looks nothing like our past.

Facing Our Hang-Ups

Some things can become ingrained in us in life. Through experience we may think, “I’m not able to do this” or “I don’t do that as it makes me too nervous.” It is only by confronting these things that we can live a full and satisfied life. Take a look at yourself, what are your hang ups? Face them and conquer them.

Significant Trauma

Significant negative past experiences may not always be undone through reading and knowledge. Talking to a professional (a doctor or therapist) may be the best course of action if you are holding significant past trauma. However do take a course of action to release these emotions to ensure that they do not hang over you for the rest of your life.

“Be thankful for everything that happens in your life; it’s all an experience.” "

Roy T Bennett