How To Stop Feeling Guilty

Justified or unjustified, guilt can be an overpowering emotion. What is guilt, why do we feel it and how we can stop feeling guilty below

What is Guilt?

28 Ways to Stop Feeling Guilty

Further Exploration – Articles & Media

What is Guilt?

Guilt is a complex emotion. It is a feeling of shame and remorse whether justified or not, accidental or on purpose. It is usually something we’ve said or done. It can be all consuming and can take over our life. We may feel guilty sporadically or we may have a constant sense of guilt that is triggered by the most minor of things. Why we feel it and how to stop it below.

“No guilt is forgotten so long as the conscience still knows of it.”

Stefan Zweig

8 Causes Of Guilt

There are a number of factors that can cause guilt. They can be either rational (justified) or irrational (unjustified). They are generally feelings that we have;

Done wrong to another, e.g. arguments with family, friends or a partner
Not lived up to perceived cultural or societal expectations
Not lived up to our own moral or ethical expectations
Let ourselves down, i.e. not living up to our own standards
Let others down, e.g. not completing a piece of work within a deadline
Have not done our best or lived up to our perceived potential
Have perceived flaws
Are doing better than others

“Guilt is like a gauge or light on the dashboard. It means that something is wrong.”

Wade Powers

28 Ways to stop feeling Guilty

1. Understand & Accept That it has Happened

Whatever the situation, it has already happened. There is no way to change the past. Understand that and look forward to how things can be different rather looking back.

2. Figure Out Why You’re Feeling It

Getting to the root cause of the issue is essential. If you break it down, on the most basic level what are you feeling guilty about? This will help you identify the feeling and help to determine what you need to do next (and whether you should be feeling it all…)

3. Challenge the Guilt

Is it justifiable or unjustifiable guilt? Was it something done on purpose or accidental? Challenge the feeling. Think about what you have done and whether you are truly justified in beating yourself up and feeling those guilty feelings. You may realise that you have not really done anything wrong or are blowing things a little out of proportion

4. Make Amends

Feelings of guilt generally mean that we feel that we have wronged in our actions or words. If it’s justifiable, in order to fully feel better about the situation, the key is making amends. Our sub-conscious will know (or at least feel) that we have done wrong and until we have done what we can to make amends will not let us fully rest. Apologise, don’t do it again or take action to rectify the situation

5. Put it Into Perspective

Look at what you’ve done and compare it to ways others have behaved or acted in the given situation. People feel guilty for all sorts of minor things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme things. In the majority of cases, it won’t be as bad as your mind is making it out to be

6. Don’t Do It Again

Depending on what you’ve done, you can help yourself to feel better by reassuring yourself that this was a one off and it won’t happen again. If you have justifiably done something wrong, promise yourself that you won’t do it again and that will help ease the guilty feelings. If you keep doing it repeatedly then understand that you may need help with that situation or problem.

7. A Learning

Look at the situation as a learning. Take away any positives that you can, e.g. that you now know how you will react in that situation and so can modify your behaviour, words or actions as needed in future. Anything that doesn’t kill us will only make us stronger and life is full of mistakes that we learn from

8. No One Is Perfect

No one hasn’t ever made a mistake. Everybody has made mistakes. Nobody is perfect and everyone screws up from time to time.

9. It Happens

Similarly to not being perfect, understand that things happen in life. Don’t always blame yourself when things go wrong. Sometimes, it just happens

10 . Practice Positive Self-Talk

Imagine yourself as your best friend giving yourself advice. Don’t beat yourself up in your head, give yourself a good pep talk. Peaceful Soul guide to positive self-talk here

11. Change Your Mindset

Try looking at things from a different viewpoint. Guilt is an emotion that can be helpful and keep us on the straight and narrow. See the feeling as a guiding force

12. Don’t Allow Guilt Trips

Be wary of others trying to make you feel guilty. Other people (a colleague, partner, family member etc) may sometimes try on a guilt trip. Rise above this type of trap, it will often be triggered by their own feelings of inadequacy. Apologise if needed however it is up to you how you want to handle the emotion

13. You Are Not Defined By One Mistake

So you’ve screwed up? That one action does not define you as a person. Think of the myriad of good things you’ve done and (most likely) behaved as a generally good, moral person. Don’t let one slip up overtake your overall persona

14. You Can’t Solve The World’s Problems

There are some things that we can’t control and are not able to help with. There are a lot of issues in the world and you can’t be expected to help fix them all

15. Look After Yourself

Feelings of guilt can manifest when we are feeling low or not at our best. Take care of yourself by exercising and eating well. This will raise overall mental wellbeing levels and help with the feelings of guilt

16. Allow “Guilt Time”

Set aside some time in the day to allow yourself to feel guilty if needed. Only keep it to that time and do not allow it at any other time.

17. Everyone Overdoes It Every Now & Again

If your guilt is in relation to over indulgence, understand that it happens to everyone. Just pick yourself up and dust yourself down and look forward to positivity in future

18. Don’t Look At Everything in Black & White

There are grey areas in life. Sometimes things are not just right and wrong. The things we do can often fall in to these grey areas so don’t just label what you have done as “wrong.” Analyse and understand it.

19. Give It Time

Time is a great healer. Guilt is a powerful emotion and in the raw moment, things can seem like the end of the world. Given time the intensity of the guilty feelings will wear off and help to put things into perspective

20. It’s Ok To Put Yourself First

It is ok to put yourself first when needed. If we don’t look ourselves, who will. Don’t feel guilty about it.

21. Turn It Into Something Productive

Let your guilty feeling help to be a positive force. Vow to make amends and make positive steps forward. Look at it as something that will help you to be a better person in the future

22. Understand The Emotion

There is generally a need for all emotions, they have been instilled in us since the dawn of mankind. Guilt may mean that we need to face up to something, make amends or change our behaviour. Listen to the emotion, concentrate on it and understand why you feel how you do (and then make the necessary changes if needed)

24. Understand Where You Should Allow Guilt

Look at your priorities in life (partner, family, kids etc), if you are feeling guilty about anything outside of that, drop it as it’s not important

25. Keep A Journal

Keeping a journal can help you keep a record of when you are feeling it and for what reasons. This can help you identify and understand any trends associated with your feelings. It can also help visualise what’s happening in your mind and help you weed out any unjustified emotion

26. Help Others

Doing some good for others will help put the balance back into life and make you feel better about yourself. For some inspiration try here

27. Get Some Help

A problem shared is a problem halved. Talk to your family or closest friends. Explain your guilt and ask them to help with your perspective on the situation. If you feel it is a serious problem or happening too often it may be best to find a professional, e.g. a therapist or psychologist

28. Forgive Yourself

If you have done everything you can to put the situation right then the only option left is to forgive yourself, understand that things will calm down and move on